Wedding Day Regrets

We were married over 20 years ago now, and have been in the wedding industry for just a little bit longer! Looking back at our wedding day, whilst it was an absolutely awesome day and definitely counts up there as the best-day-of-our-lives, there are a few things we definitely would change now with the wedding industry insider-knowledge that we have! Whilst you are in the throes of planning your day, take into consideration these hints and tips on what to avoid or to plan for, so that you look back on your day with no regrets at all! 

1. Your Dress 

I went wedding dress shopping with my mom - we went to one wedding dress shop and I tried on about 3 or 4 dresses, and decided on a dress that my mom thought suited me. It did suit me - it was a classic empire line dress with a beautiful train.  The train, however was not "floofed out" or arranged properly in ANY of the photographs and actually was surplus to requirements. I of course did not know this on the day, only afterwards in the disappointing photographs. I seriously regret not going wedding dress shopping on 4 or 5 occasions and trying on every single style there is, the Cinderella Ball Gowns that are HUGE, the mermaid fishtail gowns, the backless and lacy glamorous gowns - the calf lengths, bustles, A-lines and sheaths - you only get married once (hopefully!) so by all means, make the most of choosing THE dress. That goes on to our second regret, having just mentioned the fact the train of my dress lay in a heap at my feet in the photographs...

2. Your Photographer

Okay, so we are wedding photographers, so it's going to sound like we are trying to sell ourselves, but honestly, we chose, for our wedding day, a fabulous photographer. He is a friend and an incredible SPORTS photographer - he is NOT a wedding photographer, and you can tell from our photographs (*SOB*) As I might have mentioned, (once or twice before!) the train of my beautiful, worn-once-only dress, was lying in a very un-elegant heap at my feet in nearly every single one of our wedding photographs. Our friend-photographer used a very wide angle lens which was great for the ceremony shots of our fabulous al-fresco wedding but which distorted our portraits and made us look short! Our group photos were no better, as he had no prior experience with wedding photography, he had no idea how to pose our groups, and in the photos with my parents - I am linking my Dad's arm and holding Derek's hand and the pictures look VERY awkward! Often bridal couples will have an uncle with a great camera, or a photographer friend who they ask to take the photos of their wedding, but really and honestly, even if you think the photos are not that important to you, IT IS THE BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIVES - make sure the photographs document it as such!

3. The Video

Okay, again, this is sounding like a 'sell'. We completely understand that the costs of a wedding seriously escalate and very often the first items scratched off the list is the video, but it is almost ALWAYS the biggest regret of every couple who has chosen not to have a video. As we do both video and photography, we often do book in a couple who decide they want photography only, and 9 times out of 10, the couple will tell us that they regret not getting a video. Even the famous blogger, Kat Williams of Rock n Roll Bride has said this is her #1 wedding regret.  In her words: 

"As a bonafide, ring-wearing member of the ‘been there, done that’ crew, I implore you to heed my advice, and do everything you can to get some sort of wedding video into your day – whether it’s a ‘shoot it yourself’ package, finding a photographer who can do a video highlight reel as an extra to their offering, or cutting out favours and putting money behind the bar to be able to afford a dedicated videographer. After all, you don’t want to look back on your 30th wedding anniversary and say to each other; ‘do you know what’s my only regret?"

4. Who to invite

We had 150 guests at our wedding! 150!!! My dad, at the time, said "Who do you think you are? Princess Diana?!?" But we lived in a very small town and felt it would have been a slight to have missed anyone out of the invitation list. On top of that add mom and dad's friends and long lost aunties and uncles (who dad insisted on coming!). In retrospect, whilst we had the most incredible party - we felt we didn't really speak to everyone who had come to celebrate with us. Some of the best weddings we have documented have been the really, really small ones, with close family and friends - these have been intimate, amazing weddings, which we look at and think "ooooh we should've celebrated our day small like this!"

 I bet it would've saved quite a few pennies in the wedding budget too!

5. Bridesmaids Dresses

The dresses I had specially made for my sisters who were my bridesmaids were really NOT nice! I decided I would like their dresses to be the same style as mine with a yellow bodice - the dresses were actually tailored for them and the fabric used was the same we used for the guys' waistcoats, which actually looked quite sharp!   I would do what my younger sister did five years after I got married, she chose a colour and told all us bridesmaids to choose our own style dresses in the colour - it saved her a whole heap on the budget, and looked fabulous, as we all wore dresses that we were comfortable in and can wear over again (and I'm STILL wearing mine!).  

When all the dancing is done, the cake is eaten and the memories come flooding back year after year, these are all really small regrets, minutia, and wedding wishes, the most important thing I got right - and that was marrying the right guy!  But if this blog can help you then I have done my good deed for the day!